I restarted this blog for several reasons. The obvious one is that I love to write. When I sit down at my computer and get started, I feel calm and yet excited. It’s an actual physical sensation of pleasure and I feel my brain, which is often swirling with thoughts and feelings, become organized. Whatever is inside my head pours out onto the screen and as I wordsmith my way through a piece, I relax and focus.
Another reason for this blog is that my husband, who admits he sees through “Barbara-colored glasses,” believes I have some magical optimism that makes others feel good. It’s a lovely, romantic vision, and I love him for it. He in turn, inspires me to be my best self and is my champion and biggest fan. When I write, I try to dig deep and find the magic he sees. I think it’s the same thing my mother saw when she told me, during one of my angsty teenage spells, that I had a magnetic personality that draws others in.
Does it count when the two people who love me the most say these things? Are their observations real or accurate? How easy it is to discount the opinions of those closest to us. How quickly we dismiss their declarations of admiration as being “biased.” And yet these are the two people whose opinions I value above all others. When my mom was alive, she was my advisor and my role model. Even now when I have a problem, I can conjure her up, call upon her memory to offer guidance. And my husband is my best friend, my partner in life, my person. Why shouldn’t I believe and accept the beautiful things they say and see in me?
So, in that spirit I promise that I will try to be kinder to myself, to find my magic, to allow the love of those most precious to me to fill me up and move me forward. And I will work toward honoring that love by spreading it and helping others to find their own magic.
And before I close, this week was the observance of Yom Hashoah, the remembrance of the Holocaust and those who perished at the hands of the Nazis. I remember my father-in-law who survived, along with his father and brother. I remember those in his family, and mine, who died. I honor the memories of the six million Jews and five million others who were murdered, including one million children. Never forget.
How will you spread some magic this week?