Well, this week has been hectic so far. Tomorrow I’m off to my weekend with the girls in Arizona, then on to L.A. on Sunday for the week. I’m really looking forward to getting out of the cold and re-connecting with old friends.
Unfortunately, I leave with a somewhat heavy heart. There are so many things I’m learning these days about myself, my spouse and my family of origin. Things aren’t always the way we remember them and it takes time and distance to see things more clearly. I’m lucky to have grown up in a loving, supportive family. But all was not perfect and my illusion of perfection is gradually melting away. This leaves me with some pain and disillusionment about my past. I guess it’s always better to open yourself up to that pain and try to heal it rather than to continue stuffing it down.
The tough part is this new realization of mine is bumping into my husband’s similar journey. We are both learning, a little late in life, to see things clearly and to open ourselves up to some past hurts so we can heal ourselves. It’s definitely not for the faint of heart and it’s exhausting. I believe it’s all going to be worth it and help us both be more present in our lives and with each other. It’s a bit easier for me because I was raised in a more communicative family. But it’s still hard and the clash between us leaves me sad, frustrated and emotionally drained. I’m just trying to stay open and present.
Have you ever felt like it’s time to open up and look at things you’ve kept inside? Have you ever been the support person for someone else going through self-exploration? Tell me what you’ve experienced. I’d like to hear your story of confronting pain and healing from it. It only takes 10 minutes!